A Timewaster’s Lament

January 22, 2006

My mind is probably on motivation lately because I have very little of it. At my best, I can take a big block of time and work in a focused manner like a laser. At my worse, like today, I can figure out fifteen million little ways to squander my waking hours. So now I am experiencing what my dear friend calls productivity guilt.I have no doubt that tomorrow morning, (after I check woot), I will spring back into my energetic, positive self and start accomplishing things again. Until that happens, I sit here and engage in work-like tasks which provide no one with any economic benefit whatsoever.

I know what it is. I’ve become addicted to the stress of the deadline again. Real life pressure and consequences of not finishing that which must be done always gives me adrenaline induced focus. It’s the risk that this time I might not actually make the deadline that makes it exciting, I guess. This leaves me today with nothing accomplished except feeling plenty of ennui.

I think back to a younger version of myself who squeezed more into his 16 hours of daily life than I accomplish now in three times that span. But then again, he was just a skinny, dumbass kid.


One Response to “A Timewaster’s Lament”

  1. Very amazing site! I wish I could do something as nice as you did…mary

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